Worst possible position

Another loss last night, exactly $30 over almost three hours. However, I don’t think I played badly on the whole. A number of hands went against me which on another day would have put chips in my stack – no single huge beats, just a series of pots as a small favourite or even money which mostly went the wrong way.

My ‘hands won’ percentage was only 9 or 10%, somewhat low for the six-handed tables. That is not a massively significant statistic since it is winning money that counts, not lots of pots, but it does indicate that I was hitting fewer cards than usual, as I tend to see a figure around 15%.

Additionally, the tables were not brilliant. Not tough enough to warrant not playing, but not as soft as I would have liked. I missed the peak 7pm – 9pm period when there always seem to be weakies galore.

I had a funny old night besides that. Got quite sentimental and nostalgic about my ex - which was aided by writing a little bit of my novel (ha) – and this spiralled downwards into a fit of self-loathing and sadness. I’m also so damn tired. I go into the early hours most nights, partly due to the desire to put the hours in at poker and partly because once I go to bed then the next event is getting up for (shudder) work… So I seek to delay that moment for as long as possible.

Hmm, just another thought about my play last night. I played a few too many hands out of position, putting myself in tricky situations after getting action/calls on the flop.

I’m in the worst possible position right now, actually. Yes, I’m in the office.

Moral shortcomings

Well, I discovered why I got blown out on the potential date I had. Besides the issue of my negative view of long-term relationships, it seems I also come across as a bit of a dodgy geezer - with poker apparently a major indicator of my moral shortcomings.

Well, screw you missy! It would have been poker winnings paying for your pina collada, you know!

Although, there won’t be so many poker winnings if I play like last night very often. I am disappointed in myself. I decided to have a good, proper session of two-tabling, but ended up playing like a dick. Quite simply, I wasn’t paying enough attention. I can get by at the same time as surfing the odd site or having the odd IM chat, but not if those things are taking most of my attention. I also threw far too many stupid bets out and tried to push some tiny edges. In short, I got cocky and need to slap myself down a little.

I lost $40 overall, and lost a coin-toss (21-19 in my favour) river for a $55 pot. But that hand summed up what I was doing wrong. I bashed my shortish stack all-in on the turn with only top pair, because I was convinced my opponent was on the flush draw. Fine, I was 21-19 favourite and thought I had some folding equity too; but these are not the sort of tiny edges I normally pursue, and I could easily have been wrong about his hand anyway. More than once I bluffed the river last night to get called down by medium sets, and this could easily have been another of those.

Oh well, at least I am catching the onset of cockiness/playing too many hands/bluffing too much nice and early these days. It is my recurring weakness after a good run (I have seen it described as ‘winner’s tilt’) and I can’t afford to let it set in for days on end as it has in the past.

Bah! Nothing makes me want to get back to the game more urgently than having a losing session.

Had a bit of a testy discussion with my mother last night. I think I should have just let her witter on as usual, but she was propounding the fashionable idea in Christian circles that George W Bush is the chosen candidate of God. (I had wondered why she was criticising John Kerry on the TV news over his hair and chin). I found my hackles rising and said some fairly harsh things about that idea. Oh well. Actually, I had a weird couple of years as a born-again Christian around the end of my teens, beginning of my twenties. Not the best period of one’s life in which to renounce sex outside marriage…

Slacker

I was a real slacker over the weekend; pretty bad considering I was alone at my mate’s house until late Saturday. I only managed slightly under four hours of play, netting $50.

On Friday night I stayed home, but was feeling very tired indeed. I was happy to quit winners, even by only $30 in nearly three hours over two tables, having suffered a one out beat, and then a four-outer in a decent sized pot. I got lucky in a way with the one-outer. I had flopped a full house, my opponent hit a gutshot straight flush, and I checked it down on the river by making a mis-click! I actually had a curious suspicion that I was beaten, but intended to bet anyway since leaving money on the table in such situations has always been a weakness of mine.

The two beats cost me around $60, but I am not complaining as I have been running pretty good, and proceeded to hit my own one-outer on Saturday. I flopped the ‘under-full’ with my QQ on an AAQ flop and got all-in on the flop, since my QQ made an AQ holding unlikely for my opponent. When the dust settled, he hit his Aces full on the turn but the river came the remaining Queen to give me the pot.

I wasn’t exactly outlandishly lucky, since I was a favourite when the money went in versus his maximum of ten outs, but it felt nice to hit something like that. That pot gave me my profit for just an hour on Saturday after which I was occupied with other things. (You wouldn’t believe me if I told you).

Today is payday, and over the last two calendar months I have made the equivalent of 25% of my ‘real’ salary from poker. A nice, much-needed financial bonus.

Elsewhere, life has been unremarkable. A decent-looking girl on the dating site wanted a date but then changed her mind - put off, I think, by my avowed aversion to long-term commitment. I’m not really fussed one way or the other, and you can’t blame her. She probably wants somebody to have some fun with for a few months, then buy a house together, argue about money, spend weekends in soul-destroying DIY and home furnishings stores, argue about chores, lose sexual interest and then drift into middle age too scared and too entangled to leave the cold, dead relationship. Unfortunately, I just can’t offer all that.

On the other hand, some IM talk with the older woman has moved on and I’ve been the recipient of some near-naked pictures. And wow, what a body! This needs careful thought…