Constructive criticism

I noticed last night that my last four entries all bemoan my recent luck. To be honest, it continues. I’m getting stiffed by the turn or river no matter how encouraging the flop; if there are three cards in the deck that can ruin my low draw then one of them will come, if I am in good shape to scoop or three-quarter and put some chips in then I end up getting half or none more often than not.

The good thing is that I am handling it really well - and playing well and staying calm when running bad is certainly far more important than how you play when you are running good. I am only losing a real small amount this week, thanks to picking up my share of orphan pots, not tilting, and just a couple of brave and inspired calls on the river.

It is frustrating, of course, because I have decided that when I win a certain, reasonably small, amount from here then I am going to take a punt at bigger games. I won’t really have anything like the requisite bankroll, even by my own optimistic standards, but I intend to give it a go anyway because:

(a) I am not terribly affected by the amounts at stake at the moment; even though they are appropriate for my bankroll they are ultimately replaceable even for me. Even given the desirable state of not being concerned about the money whilst playing poker, I would like to feel a bit more engaged.

(b) I want to get a feel for different levels of PLO8 since I will certainly be playing higher if I do quit work.

(c) I want to take a shot at building my roll up rather quicker than I am currently doing

(d) I am more than capable of moving back down if I lose

(e) I am easily good enough!

Also with quitting work in mind, I have been pleased to find that I can play a lot of hours with relative ease. I’m managing to fit in four hours some days even when I am at work all day and go out for drinks in the evening! I would like to not play a crazy number of hours if I do quit work, but its also nice to know that I can potentially handle a lot of time if I am behind schedule or trying to make some extra for holidays etc.

Whether I will ever do this remains debatable; I currently play too low and don’t make an hourly rate that would sustain me. I would need a bigger bankroll and bigger games and a lot of determination. But I am not ashamed to say that I definitely want to do it.

On that note, whenever the topic of ‘going pro’ is discussed online, there is always someone who talks of how playing poker for a living is ‘not constructive’. Eg this comment:

‘Poker is not a lifetime vocation. Why? It's not constructive. It doesn't contribute anything to the world.’

Well, my response to that is ‘Yeah? And what do YOU do?’There aren’t that many jobs that ARE constructive or that contribute anything to the world. Are you in accounts? Sales? Delivering things in a van? Writing software? Do you think that on your deathbed you will reflect upon what wonderful things you gave to the world through your forty years of employment?

Obviously, there are exceptions. But most of these whining idiots talking about how poker is not ‘constructive’ are working in some shitty office, shuffling paper, shuffling numbers, meeting clients, doing nothing of benefit to anybody’s soul whatsoever. On top of that, those of them/us who are paid employees but who send personal emails, surf the web, pore over Iggy’s uberposts for an hour in the office and so on, are thieving time from our employers for which they are paying us. I do it to a huge degree and I don’t feel good (nor exactly wracked by gut-wrenching guilt) about it.

I would feel a whole lot better supporting myself through my own efforts on my own time, stealing from nobody, lying to nobody, selling over-priced crap to nobody, schmoozing nobody.

Wouldn’t you?

I want cards banned

I am closing on a year since I began this blog. There will of course be balloons and cake if you check back on the 23rd.

I have tried a couple of things to arrest my bad run, even though I believe it has mainly been a dry run of cards. I played three hours of totally focussed PLO8 on Monday, no surfing, no chatting. It went quite well, though not spectacular.

I also tried my own sit ‘n’ go experiment, though on a far smaller scale than poker nerd. I tried just sets of three at once. My laptop monitor doesn’t allow me to multi-table without significant overlap, regardless of resolution, so I find more than three tables at once rather tricky. I did three goes.

It went okayish, but I only made two seconds and a third. I felt, surprise surprise, that I didn’t enjoy much luck. I never once outdrew anybody in an all-in pot, and was a coin-flip from turning the third into a second and one of the seconds into a first. Anyway, I enjoyed it quite a lot, so that was nice. As it stands, though, I am a net loser in Party $10+1 sit and goes, after about 20 of them in total. That can’t be good!

I guess we all struggle to truly mentally assimiliate the poker fact of swings, variance, call it what you will. Bob put it nicely, saying that on a bad streak he thinks ‘I suck’, and on a good streak ‘I have my doubts about whether I’ll ever lose again’.

Meanwhile, the Blair government - elected by something like 22% of eligible British voters - outlines its plans. One of the major pieces of crap is the compulsory ID cards plan. This particular policy is so abhorrent to me on every level that I might finally get off my arse and do some campaigning. This site does a reasonable job of explaining why a compulsory ID card (never mind having to personally pay for one!) is so wrong in context of the state- individual relationship.

Nightmaresville

There's no way around it. I am running very bad.

It's testament to how determined I am to stay on an even keel, that I am actually up a tiny, TINY bit since last Sunday's tilt-fest. If I were succumbing to tilt whenever provoked this week, I would have probably blown my entire bankroll.

Last night and today have continued in the same vein as the previous five days. I have lost countless pots as a favourite; not a huge favourite, but every time the pot is a reasonable size and I have an edge, that edge simply flips round and slashes me. It seems like, if the pot is over $50 then I will not win it no matter what. I have also run utterly card-dead in a few sit and goes.

This morning has particularly yanked my chain. I finally won a sit and go, monstering my way through the last four opponents with abandon. Cool! Now let's kick some butt at PLO8.

A series of abysmal flops later, plus a 52%-to-me coinflip versus a loose opponent which I - of course - lost and a four-way preflop all-in from which I got nothing, and I could feel the tilt nagging at me. I think I just this second 'threw' a buy-in, so I have shut the tables down for a while. I will probably find when I check the numbers that I was a favourite even in that pot.

Still, I am having to take whatever scraps I can at the moment, so all I can do is at least feel pleased with myself for leaving the games.

The guy I described as loose, above, appeared to be an excellent player. However, to win six buyins in about an hour he sure got lucky. His sets held up, his good two-way draws hit both ways, his lows didn't get counterfeited. Jesus Christ I need a session like that. I am maintaining faith in my game, but it sure is tough.

I truly feel that with a modicum of fortune I would have had an absolute monster week, wiping out that tilty Sunday and plenty more besides. I want a week like that, desperately, because I am reaching breaking point with my job. I cannot stand it. I can barely bring myself to go in, every single morning.

I am ready to take a huge gamble. I might even havc somebody prepared to invest a little in giving me the opportunity. We'll see.