I don't mean to be mean

Don't worry, the three-week hiatus occurred simply because I was overseas for a little while. I flew back Business Class, which was very, very nice. I'd love to say I paid for that with poker winnings - or even Pokerstars points - but 'twas not the case. I just get upgraded quite often because I fly transatlantic more frequently than most.

So, time for me to make my mean post about that guy whose blog I really enjoy. I respect his intellect greatly - not something I say about many people at all - and have found out so many fascinating things from his blog. I now walk barefoot as much as possible, for instance.

However, his recent post on parenthood strikes me as the crappiest thing he's ever said. Apparently it is selfish and immature of those of us who read his blog - and are hence interesting/worthwhile/pleasant people - to choose not to have children.

I don't think it is worth me wasting much ink on the simple point that human society faces a very real danger of collapsing under the sheer weight of our extraordinary numbers, but this simple point certainly lurks in the background of everything else I might say.

I feel bad because I am about to say some things that will probably sound spiteful. They are not entirely intended that way, but I confess I am probably irritated enough by my childlessness being impugned to lash out a little.

So... not having children is immature? This assumes that one chooses not to have them because one wants to simply indulge oneself throughout life. This is a harsh assumption for which one can think of any number of counter examples, but I expect there is at least some truth in it for many of us childless wasters - including me. Of course, many great things may come from somebody indulging themselves through life, such as great creations or being a far better friend, sibling and son or daughter than most parents can be, because of the extra time one has available.

Still, is it actually immature to make a decision about how you wish to use your only lifetime? Choosing the tough path of childlessness, knowing you might come to regret it but deciding that there is enough you wish to learn, do, see, achieve, explore that you don't wish to be encumbered by parenting, seems to me a strong act. Never mind that you likely have to deal with all the pressures toward having kids from family (every parent wants to be a grandparent) and lovers or potential lovers.

There are lots of ways to be immature. For instance I consider it very immature to sport personalised numberplates or aesthetically awful hipster beards in order to communicate to everybody what kind of lifestyle you choose. It's childish like the teenager who finds it vitally important to wear a Nirvana t-shirt so that nobody on the street might think - god forbid! - that they're not an intelligent, stand-out-from-the-crowd, fascinating maverick who would never like a song by N*Sync or at least never admit to it. Yes, it's really cool and mature to make sure your appearance signals your outlook, values and likely interests to everybody who so much as lays eyes on you. The last thing you want is to have to waste time talking to people who are different to you and possibly not even intellectual - hell, what are you going to learn from that? And what could be more boring than someone who dresses conventionally (but looks good) and whose personality and lifestyle can only be discovered through conversation?

End of lame, dripping sarcasm.

I tend to describe having children as a vanity project. While this may be a harsh generalisation, it seems to apply perfectly well to an approach of having children in order to ensure that there are more people like oneself in the world. I think I am great (you already knew that) but I truly think an over-populated world (or any world really) can manage without me supplying another couple of tall, good-looking, intelligent, healthy, compassionate, strong-gened copies - which of course assumes in the first place that they didn't turn out bad. Yes I think highly of myself - but not that highly. Similarly, how much does a world heading towards 10 billion people really need another two or three under-sized, over-trustfunded physically frail tech geeks?

End of snidey snipey. I'll try to think of something interesting to say about poker next.