Nightmaresville

There's no way around it. I am running very bad.

It's testament to how determined I am to stay on an even keel, that I am actually up a tiny, TINY bit since last Sunday's tilt-fest. If I were succumbing to tilt whenever provoked this week, I would have probably blown my entire bankroll.

Last night and today have continued in the same vein as the previous five days. I have lost countless pots as a favourite; not a huge favourite, but every time the pot is a reasonable size and I have an edge, that edge simply flips round and slashes me. It seems like, if the pot is over $50 then I will not win it no matter what. I have also run utterly card-dead in a few sit and goes.

This morning has particularly yanked my chain. I finally won a sit and go, monstering my way through the last four opponents with abandon. Cool! Now let's kick some butt at PLO8.

A series of abysmal flops later, plus a 52%-to-me coinflip versus a loose opponent which I - of course - lost and a four-way preflop all-in from which I got nothing, and I could feel the tilt nagging at me. I think I just this second 'threw' a buy-in, so I have shut the tables down for a while. I will probably find when I check the numbers that I was a favourite even in that pot.

Still, I am having to take whatever scraps I can at the moment, so all I can do is at least feel pleased with myself for leaving the games.

The guy I described as loose, above, appeared to be an excellent player. However, to win six buyins in about an hour he sure got lucky. His sets held up, his good two-way draws hit both ways, his lows didn't get counterfeited. Jesus Christ I need a session like that. I am maintaining faith in my game, but it sure is tough.

I truly feel that with a modicum of fortune I would have had an absolute monster week, wiping out that tilty Sunday and plenty more besides. I want a week like that, desperately, because I am reaching breaking point with my job. I cannot stand it. I can barely bring myself to go in, every single morning.

I am ready to take a huge gamble. I might even havc somebody prepared to invest a little in giving me the opportunity. We'll see.