Times a -wastin'

As the lack of entries may have hinted, I am not doing well.

PLO8 is treating me okay - I even won two out of three 50% equity pots the other day - while PLO high is absolutely fucking me up the arse, sideways and backwards.

I haven't written much because I really don't want to continue a litany of bad beat moaning, but I am running horribly, horribly badly. Of course I am making some mistakes as well - always more likely when running bad I suppose - but what is particularly galling is that when I do get the money in from behind I can't ever pull off the odd win. I would actually like to be adding a bit more gamble to my game, but when I am running such that I can't win with even a 40% or 33% dog it doesn't seem wise.

Today's session was particularly demoralising and harsh. A succession of terrible starting hands, a couple of very sound bluffs picked off by dreadful calls, a gutshot straight hitting to beat my trips on a paired board (truly no idea what the guy was thinking), a lost monster threeway pot in which I had over half the equity, an inability to fill any set.

Of course, these sessions happen, and today I did not do my very best at limiting the loss. I am just finding it hard to deal with the fact that I can't get a monster session together. I'm eating like a bird and shitting like an elephant, as Doyle Brunson has put it. Yet despite putting in a lot of analysis of sessions, hands and my play, I can't see any reason for it beyond a continual and crushing case of running bad.

I picked up four more poker books yesterday, In London. 'Tao of Poker', which looks a lot more promising than 'Zen..' by the same author, Ashley Adams' seven card stud book (always interested in getting competent in more games) and both Harrington's books even though I haven't played a No Limit Hold 'Em tournament since 'going pro'.

As far as 'pro' goes, it is so far an almost unmitigated disaster. The only plus I can take is that I really am avoiding tilt better than I would have expected after five weeks of hell. I am a very, very long way from where I wanted to be at this stage, and actually a fairly long way even from what I viewed as my worst case scenario. (And I am a pessimist by nature).

Without my insane (and at this point, poorer) backer and workable bankroll, I would already be under severe pressure. Its fucking hard to succeed at this, and I fear for anyone who tries it without an adequate bankroll. Though I exclude from that comment any of my opponents today, who could clearly do it off a couple of buyins. If you are the kind of player who routinely wins your dreadful all-ins with twenty percent equity, I suggest you quit your job immediately - times a-wastin'.