Sexual heeling

I was just sorting through some clothes (I need so start throwing and giving stuff away) and it reminded me of the pleasure I took from stuffing my work trousers and shoes into a wastepaper bin on my last day at work. The, that thought made me ponder how I used to procrastinate and not do enough work because I didn't care about my job and career, whereas now I procrastinate because I DO care about my job and career - I sometimes put off starting playing because it means so much to me that I don't want to fail.

To say that is the wrong attitude would be a colossal understatement, and it is either the result or the cause of my terrible performance so far since that wonderful shoes-binning moment.

Yes, things are going badly. The crux of it is that I just can't put two wins back-to-back. Wednesday was a classic example; I took second place in a PLO multi table tourney, and then later that day I lost every cent of that win and more at PLO8 in a nightmare session. Since quitting work, every winning session has been followed by a horrible session where I get no cards, or get bad beat, or make a stupid mistake somewhere along the line. I am used to stringing a number of winning sessions and days together, so it is rather frustrating. But I am, generally, pleased with how I am handling the challenge. I've kept myself in the ballpark so that when I do hit a homerun or three it will get me nicely back in the game.

I boosted the bankroll a touch as well with a rare sports bet on Monday. I liked evens about Atlanta over Philadelphia with home advantage, although from what I saw (I had to give up at halftime in the wee hours here) they made damn hard work of it.

Back to poker as a career, and a move this morning that I hope will make some kind of difference. I finally removed the fucking huge TV off my desk, where it has been cramping my and my laptop to one side and giving me pain in my mousepad-using left arm. Maybe greater space and the absence of pain will help me play longer sessions. Now I need to get the damn laptop fan unclogged, to cease the fucking whining noise that is getting louder and louder. The trouble is, of course, that this will mean being without the machine for a day or even two. I'm not sure I can handle that. E-mail, IMs with my Canadian backer, poker, porn, all gone for 48 hours? Thank heavens for the PSP, perhaps two days will be long enough for me to become any good at Virtua Tennis.

Going back to the TV, I have no idea what I am going to do with it. I'd like to get it set up somewhere else in the room, but I don't watch it all that much. An example of why, would be a show I caught recently called 'Bring Your Husband To Heel'. The high concept of this involves an expert dogtrainer (female of course) helping unhappy wives change their husbands' behaviour by secretly using dog-training techniques. One could make all sorts of observations about this, but I will just make one. Imagine the same show, complete with comparing the subject to various dogs and puppies, training the subject like a dog without its knowledge, then gleefully revealing all at the end to pile on the humiliation, only reversed - 'Bring your wife to heel'. I think there would be uproar. "Sexist! Degrading! She doesn't exist just to please you!!"