Mostly faithful

No poker last night (I played some shit-hot pool and got drunk instead), so a chance to catch up on non-poker life.

On Friday my ‘probationary’ period at work was extended. (This is where for your first, say, three months you are on a probationary contract with slightly fewer rights and can be axed at short notice). I wasn’t entirely surprised. Another three months.

One boss said I sometimes gave the impression of being ‘ambivalent’ about the job. You don’t say! Of course, in reality I am not ambivalent at all; I hate it, and would/will be out of there the moment I decide I can make a living playing poker, or the moment I find something rewarding and right for me. Or, more likely, the moment they sack me. I sometimes think my internet use and laziness is an unconscious self-sabotage tactic designed to take a hard decision out of my hands.

Boy Genius wrote yesterday that he had signed up for an internet dating service, and recently I did the same. I had been on there as a non-paying trial member for a while and had received contact from a couple of rather good-looking girls, but you can’t read the messages or make any contact unless you pay up. So, I duly did. Or, actually, my ex did it for me since I have no useable credit card these days. (She has used the site a bit and had some fun!)

Anyway, my responses to those girls have yet to draw a reply, which is mildly surprising and irritating since they contacted me in the first place. I may be cutting my own throat somewhat since I put that I was after ‘fun’ from the pulldown menu as opposed to the usual ‘romance and relationship’ option that almost everyone chooses. I also selected ‘Mostly’ in the ‘Are you faithful?’ box. Hell, I might change that one, since I only put ‘mostly’ due to my one affair that time, and because at the time I selected that response I wasn’t intending to really use the site at all.

Anyways, beyond that I have had one brief chat with a real stunner who I hope to ‘talk’ to again, and repeated botherings from a woman who doesn’t put her photo up – and I think we all know what that means.

I remain keen to find one of the two specific types of girl I mentioned in a recent post, but I am quite open-minded as to how I meet them! Meanwhile, an older woman at work with a very nice body seems very keen on me. I’m deliberating on that, simply because it could get unpleasant working the same place after it ended.

Oh, excellent blogger pokergrub talked about finding a woman worth settling down with the other day. He wrote that if he met the right person he would be prepared (if necessary) ‘to give up poker – wouldn’t you?’ Well, in a word: no. First, I don’t really believe in ‘the right person’. I’m actually quite romantic, but also experienced enough now to know that people meet other people with whom they are besotted and ‘soulmates’ and all the rest of it, ALL the time – and then they split up three, five, seven years later ALL the time.

Secondly, if either of you has to give shit up then you’re not right for one another anyway. Or, if that sounds too ‘blanket’, then a woman wanting me to give shit up certainly isn’t right for ME. I will be having relationships on my own terms from now on. It isn’t just selfish, its also healthy – my relationship with my ex would have been far healthier if I had been more up-front about my desires and needs from the beginning.

On that note, it is a year today since we broke up. I cannot believe a year has passed. It makes me quite sad to think about it. Our break-up was for the best, and I definitely wanted it at the time, but it is natural to feel emotional about almost seven year spent with somebody; somebody with whom you lit sexual and romantic fireworks, and went through journeys, hospital, fun, pain, pubs, counselling sessions…

Enough.

Been looking at my statistics. The last 78 hours of pot limit Omaha have reaped just over $11 an hour. Its good for a 50c big blind game. I was surprised and disappointed to find that my rate in just the six-max games is actually somewhat lower than that. Meanwhile, the $10+1 sit and goes are proving profitable but not as much as the £5+1 games thus far! Only $3.60 profit per tourney after 24 of them.

If I got sacked tomorrow, I would spend a little while seeing how I could do, playing 50+ hours per week. Well, I wouldn’t have much else to do after all! Some people would only go pro if they could make big bucks. I would do it if I could make $550 per week; or rather, if I were very confident that I could play with the genuine expectation of that much per week on average.

If I were to two-table the cash games more (probably one full ring and one six-max), and put in a goodly number of sit and goes as well, I expect I could do it. If I had to. But, after my abortive three months as a pro last year, I know how much truth there is in the common advice that you should only do it when you have several months living expenses saved up.