Complaints Dept.

I don’t ‘Gamboool’ much when I play poker. This is partly because it just isn’t my style, partly because – and I don’t care what you say! – I am just not a lucky player. Usually when I do gamboool (as I did last night with the rubble that once was a bankroll) I discover that my hand is actually in far better shape than I thought – because so many players are idiots – but I still lose anyway.

There was a classic example last night as I frivolously threw my shrapnel into the pot, intent on either going to bed quickly or spinning it up into something that would at least reduce the size of deposit to be made today.

I flopped an extremely non-nut flush draw, a pair and a sort of gut-shotty straight draw of some kind (the details are hazy). Having put my chips in and been called, I assumed that my flush would be no good if I hit it and/or that my single pair was also beat. In fact I was way ahead against a guy with bottom pair and no draw, but the turn promptly paired to give him trips, no flush arrived, and 89TJ’s head hit the pillow ten minutes and one cigarette later.

I’m just not lucky. In poker.

In life, I probably am. I’m physically and mentally healthy, seem to be at least passably good-looking (based simply on calibre of girlfriends), tallish, intelligent, modest… I can’t complain. But I will anyway, from time to time.