Inside the Running Bad mind

Before:

Okay, I got a bit unlucky last night and also played a bit tilty here and there. Tonight I am focussed and ready. I know how to play this game, and I will make good, cunning decisions and let the results take care of themselves.

During:

Okay, he can’t possibly have been calling those bets with a flush draw… oh. Next hand. Right, just pair the board for me please… oh. Next hand. No spade please, no spade, no spade... oh bugger! Its gotta turn on the next hand. Ha, he’s got nothing, my two pair is going to take this down… oh nooooo!

After:

Do I suck? Why can’t I hit those long-shot rivers like everyone else? I want my mummy.

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Today I deposited some more dough. After examing how rarely I lose certain amounts of money, I opted not to top up to my usual bottom line for my bankroll. I need the money for all the usual crap in life, food and whatnot, plus I have to shell out some money to hotels for work over the next couple of weeks and will have to wait to get it back in expenses payments.

I should be fine. I’ve only lost an amount equivalent to my new online bankroll twice in three months. Fingers crossed. Actually, I now face the likelihood of barely playing poker in almost a week. I shall be spending the weekend at The Girl I Am Seeing Again’s place, then I am away for two nights for work, returning on Tuesday to go to a gig in the evening. I hope to feel awake and coherent enough to play a little after some drinks tonight, but we’ll see.

Overall, I don't feel soooo bad about these losses. A couple of 75% shots going my way and I would not have had the need to reload my bankroll. It is still a source of regret that I have to plunder the bankroll every month, too. I'd have a real healthy one by now otherwise, and would be able to experiment moving up in stakes just a bit.