Worst post ever

Last night I was very tired, had somewhat of a headache, and thought very very seriously about simply going to bed very very early. Instead I played some poker, because - well, because that's what I do. Not a very healthy reason.

I started off okay in a couple of small headsup matches and a handful of decent Omaha hands which put me about $20 up. More and more tired, I should have stopped there. But instead I stayed, and began losing at Omaha. After losing a couple of reasonable pots I went utterly card-dead again, and began to lose patience. At the same time, I joined a pot limit five card stud game. Boy, there is money to be made in that game; but I failed to do so, thanks to twice having people pair up on the end when I had them drawing very slim against my small pair and strong Ace high.

Frustration came upon me, patience departed from me, and I basically spunked my entire bankroll bar $25 in three hands: I had lost out on a couple of very nice pots by folding weakly when there was some action. JJJ on an AJx Omaha flop was the best example, put down because I was convinced my opponent had AAA! So, I decided it was time to throw the chips in with any semblance of a hand on the flop (or second street in stud).

The moves I made were not all that bad really - perhaps a lesson for the future - but I got called and lost.

Went to bed not really caring due to my exhaustion.

Today I care. In the space of eight days I have forgotten how I ever won money at Omaha. I have lost a great deal of confidence in my poker game, in all but the headsup field. I have seen myself go on fairly strong tilt several times. I have seen myself display a complete lack of patience. Also a complete lack of guts.

I am now going to have to make a deposit, which will hurt a little at a time when I anticipated withdrawing several hundred pounds to pay for my holiday.

And then I am going to have to play PROPERLY. I'm going to play Omaha and start from the basics again. Which means position, position, position, position, position, position, position, position, position.

This is a really crap post, but thats ok because it reflects my really crap game. I have to add that I really have run bad over the last two weeks, and last night was no exception - but the many mistakes I have made have helped put me into the situation where running bad could cause me such problems. By which I mean, my mistakes have helped leave my bankroll at a point where I became psychologically affected by going behind during a session. It didn't used to be a problem - many was the Omaha session where I would drop thirty, forty, fifty dollars early through dry cards, only to wait for the right moment to strike in a good situation and big pot. Over the last week I have panicked when losing, and then gone chasing.

Sorry, this is my worst, most boring post ever, but it has been written purely to exorcise the demons of my last week's poker.

Starting tomorrow it is all going to change. I am not going to play simply out of habit. I am going to play when I feel ready, lively and enthusiastic about it. When I am prepared to devote considerable attention to the game rather than playing on websurfin'instantmessagin'musicdownloadin' auto-pilot.

Bring it, as they say, on.